💔Healing from Toxic Love
A Letter to the Ones Who Survived (And the Ones Still Trying To)
You never forget the feeling.
The exhaustion. The confusion. The fear.
You second-guess everything. Your memories. Your instincts. Your worth. And maybe, like I did, you wonder: Was it really that bad?
Maybe it was me. Maybe I’m just too sensitive. Maybe if I had just said it differently, done more, stayed quieter, kept the peace…
But deep down, you know the truth.
And if you’re reading this, I want you to know:
You are not alone.
I’ve been where you are. And I survived.
The Truth About Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissists leave a mark — not just physically when they lose control, but emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
For a long time, I didn’t even realize what I was in. I was a high-functioning executive running a successful company, admired in my industry. I thought I was too strong, too smart, too in control to ever be in an abusive relationship.
But abuse doesn’t always look like bruises. Sometimes it looks like silence. Gaslighting. Blame. Walking on eggshells.
The truth hit me hardest when I tried to leave.
When the Mask Comes Off
There was infidelity. Again.
One day, I picked up my office phone — something I rarely did late in the day. Something told me to answer. A stranger informed me of the betrayal.
That was the moment I emotionally checked out.
I calmly went home, cooked dinner, and said:
"It’s over. We can figure out logistics."
At first, everything seemed calm…
Until the reality hit.
That’s when things became scary. Unpredictable. Dangerous.
When I returned from a weekend away, the house was empty. My files and personal items — gone. I tried to resolve it peacefully. I didn’t want to involve legal authorities. But in the end, I had no choice.
A single police phone call helped me recover what I could. Over the next few months things got scary, and then criminal charges were laid.
"No piece of paper will keep you safe from someone who doesn’t want to be reasoned with."
— Officer’s words I’ll never forget.
The Textbook Pattern
Toxic relationships don’t just hurt.
They erase you.
Verbal abuse becomes mental manipulation.
Financial control becomes economic abuse.
Charm and charisma become isolation and confusion.
Threats become real. Sometimes deadly.
There were devastating financial losses. Flashbacks. Insomnia. Constant hypervigilance. I kept protection beside my bed for months.
But still — I survived.
Healing Takes More Than Time
It takes tools.
It takes support.
It takes someone to remind you who the hell you are.
I worked with a professional trained in NLP and Timeline Therapy. That helped stabilize my nervous system, process the trauma, and reclaim my sense of self.
Even after leaving, the wounds linger:
Is this a red flag — or a trauma trigger?
Am I overreacting — or finally aware?
Will I ever feel safe with someone again?
Yes, You Can Heal. And You Can Love Again.
It took years before I felt safe enough to open my heart.
I protected my solitude. It was sacred.
My peace? Hard-earned.
But now, I’m married to a kind, steady, emotionally available partner. An empath. Someone who makes safety feel like home.
This isn’t about luck.
It’s about healing, boundaries, and trusting that not everyone is like them.
If you’re still in it — I see your courage.
If you just got out — I see your strength.
If you’re healing — I see your wisdom.
And if you’re still scared — that’s okay too.
You Deserve a Life That Feels Safe, Peaceful, and Free
There are strategies to get out safely.
There are tools to heal what happened.
There is hope for a peaceful life after trauma.
I say this not just as a therapist and retreat facilitator — but as a survivor.
You are not broken. You are rebuilding.
And I am here to walk beside you.
➡️ If you need someone who understands, you can start here:
Or just message me. You don’t have to share your story all at once.
You just have to know you’re not alone.
Because you’re not. Not anymore.
Note: The experiences shared in this post reflect the personal journey of the author and are not intended to describe any specific individual.