Setting Boundaries Without Guilt: How to Stop Being a “Yes” Person
If you have difficulty saying no or sacrifice your needs to please others, you might be lacking boundaries — especially around your time.
We do it all the time, don’t we?
We say yes when we’re tired.
We agree to help when we’re overwhelmed.
We say “sure” because it’s easier than explaining why not.
Before you know it, you’re helping a friend move when you needed downtime, taking on a project that doesn’t fit your schedule, or saying yes to something that drains your energy and leaves you resentful.
That’s people-pleasing — and it’s costing you your peace.
🎄Holiday Boundaries
The holidays are prime time for boundary burnout.
Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas gatherings, extended family expectations — it’s easy to slip back into old patterns.
Maybe you’ve got parents who guilt you for not staying long enough, siblings who expect you to host, or blended families that pull you in four different directions.
Here’s your permission: you don’t have to make everyone happy.
You are allowed to set limits around your time and energy.
If you’re juggling multiple families (especially when both partners’ parents are split), alternating holidays is okay.
You don’t need to spend your entire holiday season in a car trying to please everyone.
👶 Boundaries with Family When Children Enter the Picture
Boundaries get even trickier when kids arrive.
Suddenly everyone has opinions, expectations, and keys to your house.
💬 Real-life story: A young couple bought the home the husband grew up in. When they had a baby, the parents continued walking in unannounced — with shoes on — tracking in dirt while the baby was crawling on the floor. After repeated reminders, they finally had to change the locks.
💬 Another true story: A couple bought their home from the in-laws, who also kept showingup and walking in uninvited. After multiple polite requests, nothing changed. I asked the wife, “Are you comfortable with your body?” She said yes. So the next time her father-in-law walked in, she calmly walked down the stairs naked. Both screamed — and it never happened again.
Sometimes boundaries require more than words — they need action.
⏳ How to Set a Boundary Around Your Time
When anyone asks something of you, try this simple approach:
1️⃣ Pause before you answer.
Say: “Thank you for thinking of me — let me get back to you on that.”
2️⃣ Walk away and ask yourself three questions:
Can I do this?
Do I want to do this?
Do I have the resources to do this (time, energy, money)?
If any answer is no, your response becomes:
👉 “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit.”
No excuses. No justification. No long story.
Repeat it if they ask again — because they will, especially if they struggle with boundaries themselves.
Remember, most people say yes because they don’t want to explain why they’re saying no. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Boundaries in Relationships, Work, and Family
Whether it’s your partner, boss, parents, friends, or colleagues — your time and energy are yours.
If you keep saying yes when you mean no, you’re teaching people that your needs don’t matter.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish — it’s an act of self-love.
It builds self-esteem, preserves your energy, and teaches others how to treat you.
So this season, before you overcommit, overextend, or overexplain, pause and remind yourself:
You don’t need to justify your no.
You just need to honour your yes.